Spolier Alert: The State of Florida Is Clueless (But You Already Knew That Anyway)

So I'm in Southern Florida for work. I was hoping to gather a lot of content for the blog while I was down here, but so far I've come up pretty short. Certainly, nothing to write home about. I had lunch at a great place in Miami this afternoon which I will cover some other time, but I just got back from a dinner that was so aggravating that it caused me to bypass the empty hotel bar and come straight up to my room and rant about it.

Obviously being in Florida, I'm surrounded with images and notions of seafood. With crab houses all around, I was set on finding some Alaskan crab legs. Yes, I know this is Florida which is as far as you can get from Alaska while staying within the US, but they are much easier to find here than in Ohio, trust me on this one.

I did a simple Google search and came across Spoto's Oyster Bar and Bluepoint Lounge. The reviews were great, prices looked reasonable for being West Palm Beach on the water, and most importantly, they touted their Alaskan and snow crab legs. I jumped in my rental Jeep, made my way over there, and shelled out $7 for parking.

First impression was that this place was lively and had a great atmosphere, but imagine my surprise when I looked over my menu and there were no crab legs to be found. I asked the waiter if there were any that I just wasn't seeing. "No, we don't have crab legs, but we have stone crab claws." This is not at all what I wanted and while they are both part of a crab, they are very different from one another, but in frustration I said, "Yeah, that's fine."

Snow crab legs are fairly easy to eat. They come steamed with drawn butter. Stone crab claws and a pain in the ass and come served on ice with lemon. I should have gone with the broiled sea scallops or Oysters Rockefeller. The potato salad and coleslaw that came along with the six claws were mediocre at best. The potatoes in the salad were barely blanched let alone cooked thoroughly and after one bite, I pushed them aside.

Even better, when the check came out, my dinner was $41 not including tip (snow crab legs usually run around $25)... far beyond my dinner expense account limit so I will be making that up out of my own pocket. Had it not been for the hot waiter who continually flirted with me, this entire dining experience would have been a total bust. On a fairly related note, I am convinced that men are drawn to dorky women dining by themselves and reading the latest non-fiction NYTimes Bestseller.

Additionally, it took me forever and a day to get back to my hotel. Only in Florida do they need to heavily enforce a MINIMUM speed limit. I have made several unkind gestures over the past two days to the people going forty miles per hour on Interstate 95 FOR NO GOOD REASON. If you really have no place to be then WALK, but get off the highway or AT LEAST stay OUT of the fast lane! [Sigh of malcontent] I miss Ohio.